Mama knows best

So today Declan and I went through our daily ritual of me picking him up and taking him to bed for his nap under total protest from him. He tells me he's not tired, he doesn't want to go to sleep, he gets angry and tries to fight it out, then magically - I ask which song he wants to sing and he cuddles up to me and tells me "Baby Lion." This ordeal which lasts all of 45 seconds tries my patience daily, I know he needs a nap but he doesn't. He can't accept my decision on his behalf until I distract him and his own body betrays his growing independence. He falls asleep in less than 10 minutes and wakes up happy and ready to cuddle me again an hour or two later. So why do we have the same mini-battle everyday? Is it his need to assert himself or is it more profound?

Once in awhile these moments with my kids remind me of God. I believe that God loves me even more than I love my kids and in the same way I know what is best for them - he has my best interests in mind as well. I believe all of that in my head, however, it doesn't get all the way to the rest of me. My will, my heart, my lazy body all want the things that I perceive as good. I certainly don't want the parent proscribed nap when I'd rather be playing (or in my case reading a novel and eating chocolate :).  I tend to be a doer and not a thinker - hence this blog. This is my place to slow down and think, ponder, reflect and hopefully listen to a still small voice that actually wants what's best for me.

I suppose most people are somewhat fatalist and just accept each moment for what it is; good, bad and ugly.  I want to choose the freedom to trust that there is a higher power who actually knows my name, address, age, height and weight and is busy constructing the new person in my womb. That freedom allows me to seek guidance in my life and promises the possibility of more than just a moment to moment existence. This full understanding offers me the chance to believe that my kids will have supernatural protection from unknown future dangers and the hope that their lives will turn out beautifully as I entrust them to God's care. I am still learning this trust - in fact it's a big ongoing lesson in my life right now :) But today as I move throughout the decisions that affect each moment I hope I am not screaming "I'm not tired, I don't want a nap..." instead, I will try to say yes to my divine parent - mama knows best.